My story to becoming a mum is not an easy one. If you missed part 1 of my story, you can click here. My story doesn’t end there though, my pregnancy was anything but easy.
I’m not embarrassed to admit that I struggled a lot with perinatal depression.
I was too scared to become attached to the pregnancy for the fear of losing the baby. I was also incredibly sick.
How could I be happy and excited when I felt like I was literally dying?
I didn’t leave my house I was vomiting 20 times a day and lost 11kgs!
But I was meant to be excited, I was meant to be so grateful and over the moon… which then made me feel so guilty!
Then we had our gender reveal, which was such an exciting day. It’s a GIRL!
Dreams of princess dresses and hair bows were coming true!
It started to feel real then!
When I was 12 weeks pregnant I started bleeding. We rushed to the hospital where they did a scan and they reassured me that the baby was fine. They told me that the bleeding was from a sub chorionic haematoma.
I was still violently ill at 16 weeks, I couldn’t drive and was vomiting all day long. I also fainted several times which was scary. I felt so awful. I also had a very irritable uterus causing cramps and back pain, which was scary.
The pains just kept getting worse and worse.
You could clearly see my belly tightening, but I was told they were just Braxton hicks and nothing to worry about.
Threatened Premature labour
Then at 24 weeks and 3 days, I lost my mucus plug. I rushed up to the hospital where they did a swab which came back as positive. It meant I had a 50/50 chance of delivering the baby in the next 2 weeks!
No way! I can’t have my baby this early.
I was immediately flown by the Royal Flying Doctors to Brisbane to a bigger hospital. The scans showed my cervix length was basically nothing, only 5mm long. When it’s meant to be 30mm.
They prepared me for a very premature birth. I was absolutely terrified. How could I have come this far to possibly lose my little girl.
The doctors were hoping that I would at least make 26 weeks and that it would be incredible if I made 28 weeks. They said it would be a miracle if I made 32 weeks and ‘no chance’ to make it to full term.
I had the neonatologist come and explain the risks of having a baby at 24 weeks. The devastating facts that she only had a 60% chance of surviving, with a 30% chance of having a disability.
At that early gestation I was asked if I wanted them to resuscitate the baby. It was the scariest few weeks of my life. I was stuck on bedrest and each hour and day that past I was incredibly grateful for.
At 25 weeks I went back into labour, I was rushed down to labour ward and started on magnesium.
The infusion was horrible. I felt like I was on fire.
I had the consent form signed for a classical Caesarean section and again I was asked if I wanted to resuscitate the baby.
But the night went on, the medications worked, and the labour was stopped. Thank god!
Days went by and bedrest was the new normal. I made it to 26 weeks then 28 Weeks. No one could believe that my cervix was now dilated, 100% effaced and continuously contracting, but somehow my little girl was staying put.
I met some wonderful bedrest friends. The hospital tried their best to keep us entertained with bedside activities, like colouring in and crocheting. I also did a million jigsaw puzzles.
I had been documenting my whole journey on Instagram which helped me connect with others, and was also a great way of journaling. I was very grateful that my husband stayed with me just across the road at the Ronald McDonald house and kept me company.
I also had an amazing photographer come to the hospital and take some maternity photos for me!
34 weeks rolled around and by this gestation it was safe enough for me to go home and deliver at my local hospital.
I got flown back home- contracting the whole way. I was terrified I would deliver her on the plane.
But I made it home sweet home after 10 weeks in hospital!
I was so grateful to be back home and be able to set up her nursery and get things organised before she arrived. After weeks and weeks of continuously contracting I was feeling pretty exhausted, but so relieved to have made it this far.
37 weeks came around.
The 28th of July 2017 was the best day of my life.
It was time to meet our little girl. They broke my waters at 7 am, I was already 4 cm dilated at this point. By 10 am I wasn’t sure if I was in active labour because I swear the pains were exactly the same that I had been having for weeks and weeks. But I was actually 8 cm dilated.
After weeks of having false contractions I was always confused how I would know what real labour felt like. Everyone would say ‘if you think these false pains are bad wait until you are in active labour’.
Well I can safely say that my active labour pains were exactly the same as I have been in for weeks and the same as Endometriosis pains!
I had a bit of issues with pushing and getting her out…
But at 1.22pm she came into the world, I pulled her up and onto my chest, and cried. “We did it!” I was overcome with emotion!
I had so nearly given up on becoming a mum, but there we were with our little baby girl in arms safe and sound.
Every injection, dollar, heartbreak and pain was so worth it for this moment.
We called her Mia. Which means “Wished for child”.
She was such a content, sleepy baby and is now a vibrant, free spirited beautiful 2 year old.
Everyday I thank my lucky stars that I am a mum. It really is a dream come true.
She is our little miracle!
Kimberley is 29 and is married with a 2 year old girl called Mia. They live in Rockhampton, Queensland in Australia. She loves renovating their house and planning fun activities to do with her daughter. Follow her everyday life on Instagram @mumtomia