I Should Not Still Be Here

I am constantly at the wrong end of statistics.

During our fight with infertility, I was diagnosed with all three top conditions that lead to inability to concieve.

My less than 1% chance natural pregnancy quickly turned into my 1% chance of having severe Hyperemesis Gravidarum.

I have been watching myself die slowly for months, but last week, death almost won.

To explain, we have to go back a few months. Grab a cane and put on our best Dr. House impression.

This theory is backed by every test imaginable, including multiple blood cultures.

JUNE 2019: I have been on 24/7 TPN nutrition via central line since June. I am writing this post in September. I am unable to keep down solids and water, so I am entirely dependent on TPN.

JULY 2019: I started feeling intense pain on my right side. During this time, my central line kept clotting off.

After multiple tests, I was diagnosed with Appendicitis. I was given IV antibiotics and pain medication.

This is when we unknowingly helped staph bacteria begin to grow resistant to antibiotics.

AUGUST 2019: My pain was way more managable, and my white blood counts went down. Towards the end of the month though, my white counts skyrocketed again.

I felt so defeated. I was literally struggling to maintain the same level of misery, instead of getting any better. No one knew why my HG was so relentless, and I was out of treatment options.

SEPTEMBER 2019: I started noticing my heart was constantly racing. Even in my sleep, my Fitbit showed that my heart was beating 130-140 beats a minute. I asked my nurse to pull my PICC line back, knowning that sometimes it can tickle the heart if it gets too close. Nothing changed.

Then, last week, I spiked a fever. My twins were also running fevers, so I figured I just caught a virus. This is where the mercy of God completely intervened.

Nothing Short of a Miracle

What we did not know at the time, was that I had/ have MRSA (Super bug) in my blood stream and attached to my central line.

By the time I was hospitalized, I had a 102-103 fever, was septic, and could not breath. Baby E was in distress, and my body started contracting.

The most likely option that I was looking at was to deliver Baby E early, knowing both of us would be infected. I almost lost my daughter Libby to a staph blood infection, I could not go through this again.

The night I was hospitalized, they had to quickly remove my PICC line. This sent my body into shock. I recall slipping in and out of conscious and begging God to save us.

My body could not tolerate being off of TPN, so another line was placed. The nurse had to work FAST. I ended up going through line surgery without time for the pain medications to kick in.

I screamed a lot, but then lost the strength to even cry.

What Now?

All praise to God, treatment seems to be working. Baby E is no longer in distress, so I am able to treat from home.

I am on a extreme antibiotic that is very hard on my body, but it’s doing the job. I now pray for blood cultures to start coming back negative, so we can all breath a sigh of relief.

Has this fight with HG nearly killed my daughter and I? Yes.
Was last week absolute hell? Yes.
Did we beat all odds by walking out of the hospital together? Yes.

My body is still dying, but I am grateful to be alive and to be pregnant another day.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

2 Timonothy 4:7