“Just” is one of my least favorite words.
I began to loathe it during my four year battle with secondary infertility when I constantly heard, “Do you JUST have the one child?”
It rang in my ears and my soul; taunting me that what I had wasn’t good enough. It screamed that I was measured and found lacking by others who had more than I did. It reverberated that what I was holding in my hands was somehow odd, misplaced and not what it should be.
It’s a painful word in the infertility world. “Is it JUST the two of you?” “JUST don’t wait too long!” or my disdained, “Do you JUST have one child?”
It’s amazing how much power one little word can have to cause pain and crush someone’s spirit. How carelessly and frivolously we use words in our culture when JUST a few less would do. Even though I was the victim in these situations, I’ve been guilty of throwing out words without stopping to meditate on their true meaning more often than I would like to admit. I had a conversation with my mentor several years ago that really struck at the heart issue for me. We were talking about prayer and she said, “Do you ever notice how we often say, ‘God, JUST do _______’?” She could have slapped me in the face and it would have had the same impact as that singular thought. What was I saying, implying and meaning with the words I so casually spilled out?
I was convicted.
How many times had I prayed, “JUST be with me, Lord” or “JUST work a miracle in this situation, Jesus”?
As if any act of God is JUST anything! That small conversation completely changed the way I pray to this day. I don’t want to devalue anything, put my own price or context on the work of His hands. I JUST claim it, state it and speak to whatever miraculous touch He will effortlessly breathe into existence my way. It may seem insignificant to hone in on such a small issue as singular word misuse, but I believe our words reflect the state of our hearts whenever we speak (to God and others). We NEED to speak with less frivolity and more intentionality.
One word completely transformed the way I approach the God of the universe and it should completely transform the way we approach one another. And if one word doesn’t define or limit Him, then one word doesn’t define your worth either.
Oh, sister, I know those words can feel like a dagger in your heart but they do NOT reflect the truth about you, your family or your situation. Embrace your true identity and the truth about who you are; beautiful, worthy, and exactly as your Abba (Father) intended you to be. HE is not limited in the work He can do in you and through you.
There is no JUST. There is beauty, pain, miracles, and sorrow that NEED to be spoken into around us. The very nature of fragile emotions dictate that they NEED to be entered into with wisdom, thoughtfulness and tenderness.
Before you speak, JUST stop. Before you give your unsolicited opinion, JUST think. And before you pass judgement on anyone, JUST don’t.
The world needs less of our words and more of our hearts.
Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Ecclesiastes 5:2 (NIV) “Do not be hasty to speak, and do not let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God. After all, God is in heaven and you are on earth. So let your words be few.”
ABOUT:Spencer is the founder of The RADiant Chef (theradiantchef.com), a place for whole health: mind, body and spirit. As someone who has dealt with anxiety, depression, infertility, pregnancy loss, an eating disorder and PCOS, her passion is loving on others and walking alongside them in their life journey.
Spencer lives in the Shenandoah Valley with her husband and two miracle boys where she is a homeschooling mom and blogger. She welcomes you on her new blog where you can find recipes, posts on wellness topics, community and lots of love as you discover your radiant self!To read more posts about infertility click the links below:
Photos by Brianna Lauren Photography